Note To Self: 10 Steps To Handle The Haters

I hear that once you have haters, you're doing something right. I've been getting a taste of that lately, so I'm 100% positive I'm becoming sort of a big deal. Mahogany and leather bound books, y'all (please tell me you can feel the sarcasm oozing). I've seen comments stating that my designs are carbon copy HGTV. (Is that a compliment?) I've also seen "no personality....dull and lifeless" as a description of the kitchen above at one of my recent renovations. Whether the negative feedback is accurate or not, is not really the point. It's what do I do with this information? WELL, I'll tell you. Below are step by step instructions for myself on how to think my way through the hater-ade. Tweak as you feel necessary for your own haters.

1. Decide if this person's opinion is constructive criticism or just bullying. This is sometimes difficult to judge but my rule of thumb is if they are being blunt and rude, then their comments are automatically null and void. If they seem to be making an effort to be kind, yet state where improvements can be made, then perhaps they are on to something. 

2. Pay attention to where the haters are coming from. If they are commenting on my page or social media accounts, then it's likely they are or have been a fan of my work sometime in the past. They found me somehow. They must have liked something. I'll take note of their comment and move on. If it is a photo of mine that someone else has shared or that I promoted/advertised on social media, I give bad feedback or bullying very little merit. I'm now once removed. They don't know me. Maybe the commenter is not even a fan of modern design. Maybe they don't understand that certain houses require certain design details. That's ok. I can't help them understand.

3. Remember that design is subjective. Not everyone will like what I like. That's fine. If someone showed me a huge traditional kitchen, I probably wouldn't like it and would say so if asked. That doesn't mean it wasn't done well. Just not my cup of tea. There's no way of knowing a person's tastes unless they come right out and tell you.

4. Repeat my mission. Push the envelope, try new things and set myself apart from the "others". This is very important. If I'm going to be different, I'm going to get different responses. Maybe even....GOD FORBID....negative responses. Some may not understand why I don't like to put upper cabinets in many of my homes (am I the only one that gets a dented skull from open cabinet doors?) or why I won't design a typical "yuppy farmhouse" style Arcadia home. It's been done. My mission is to create new designs, not carbon copies. Not even of HGTV. Truth be told....I don't even have cable and only recently borrowed a TV so we could watch Olympic gymnastics.

5. Remember that armchair bulliers are regular people. They're sitting at home or bored in their office throwing out thoughtless comments to faceless accounts. They aren't thinking or caring about the person behind the Dwelling Studio brand. In fact, they probably don't know it's just little ole me!

6. Know that I can, do and will make mistakes. My designs might miss the mark in places sometimes. That's ok. Every house is a new blank canvas. I learn from each house and apply those lessons to future homes.

7. Tell myself, "At least I'm out there trying." Most people aren't brave enough to flip houses. If I had a dollar for every person who told me they wanted to flip houses but never did, I'd have all the monies in the world to flip EVEN MORE HOUSES and make even MORE BOLD CHOICES and DESIGN MAGIC (or mistakes). I'm out there plugging away making design decisions. Countless design decisions. My brain hurts sometimes. 

8. Remember that I'm a house flipper and stager, not an interior designer. There's a huge difference. I'm designing for an imaginary person, not a known client. I straddle the line between pushing the envelope and pleasing a small portion of the public shopping in that neighborhood, on that date, with X amount of dollars. Shoot that just scared me and I've been doing this for a while. 

9. Remind myself of the tight budget and timeline. While some might drop $60,000 on their kitchen, I'm spending that on an ENTIRE house. When I stage my homes, I buy everything myself. I like to do it and I think it makes the house look more custom. I don't always have time or money to go get another bed (plus bedding, pillows, mattress) and I almost never have the patience and money for curtains. I work with what I've got. People see one of my rooms, they say, "Hmm, curtains would've been better." Well, no shit. Please buy them and install them. Thank you.

10. Move on from the haters. They aren't worth my time.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this over the years. Too much time. I've let the fear of what others might think or say about my work (aka me) creep into my head and slow me down. I can't say it won't slow me down again in the future, I'm human. But it won't stop me.

No one can. 

NO ONE. 

Wah ah ah ah ah! :)